Spiral

Today I reached the end of my rope, so to speak. I've been having real trouble with my roster at work this week, I feel like every time I've looked at it, it's been different! So when I checked my roster on tuesday, and it said 1pm, and I turned up at 1 and it had changed to 4, I lost it. I got angry and cried all over the place. I hate feeling rushed and pressured, and this was it. So I left, and walked down to Lygon street to go somewhere, checked my phone and found 4 missed calls. Everyone was calling me wondering where I had gone, so I went back and talked about it with Tash, which I hadn't had a chance to do this week. I wish I had just called her at the start of the week, and saved myself a lot of trouble. She bought me a V and we sat outside and chatted for a bit, made me feel better. She fixed up my shift for the weekend and said I could start whenever I wanted. She's been having a tough few weeks too, broke up with her boyfriend and moved out of home, and also trying to juggle rosters so that everyone gets their training shifts for the new registers going in in two weeks. I really like Tash, whatever everyone else says. She would help me out any way I wanted.

And then there was the actual supervising shift! I felt like I barely had 5 minutes to scratch myself we were so busy. It was really hard to find time to just get organised and clean up after the day. Apparently we did 55,000 yesterday, which is big for us, when they planned for 40. The poor guy in liquor was there all by himself, and constantly had a queue, and every five minutes had a void limit. I don't know what they were doing in there all night that I needed to go in there all the time. I thought the night would never end. Sigh.

And then there is this band trip on the weekend. I am really regretting that I said yes to this band thing. I'm out of the house so much at the moment that I don't have time to practice, and I don't have the desire to practice when I am home. I really don't want to go on the weekend, only the fact that I paid for it, and the fact that I did commit myself to playing for Easter competitions is why I am going to get up early and go. I think that it doesn't feel like my band, and also that I feel so stressed every thursday to get there after teaching on time. It's colouring my view of the band. They are a great band, B grade compared to the last band I played with, I just wish I could... I don't know. I'll think about it after Easter is over. I think the money and time isn't worth what I am getting out of it. Lets see how the weekend works out. I can leave early if I feel I need to be home Sunday, otherwise it finishes by 5pm, I could cook up a great dinner at home to celebrate when I get there.

Next week should be better. Hope.